Self-doubt, guilt, fear, worry, and depression
take turns stabbing at my heart
dismembering my confidence
little by little until I drown in silence.
My face reads so readily
unable to deceive
though I always try to hide
behind the words, “I’m fine.” Tears
may streak my face blurring every line
but all is well, “I’m fine.”
No, nothing’s ever wrong. To the point
whereupon my deathbed I’ll lie,
gasping; my last breath, “I’m fine,” sporting
a half-eaten smile.
I’ve never been good at asking
(for help or otherwise) I am
stubborn – determined to
grapple with every demon
thought in desolate isolation.
I’m beyond almighty powerful
and merciless, creating my own hell;
wherein, I crown myself queen
only to dash my head upon the rock.
Tearing myself limb from limb
muttering,”I’m fine” throughout eternity.