Fighting with Myself

Fighting with Myself

When you’re your own worst enemy,

When you just can’t get a grip

on reality,

When you know

you’re off the rails,

these are the days that tip the balance

of the scales.

You begin to think you’re crazy.

You begin to wonder if the rest of the world knows

just how lost you feel.

Is it better to stay in bed or try to fake it

until you make it through the day?

The slightest detour from your path

becomes a mountain in your way;

insurmountable.

The drive home is fraught with internal

strife.

Arguing with yourself, knowing

something’s not right.

Waiting for the demons to pass –

sleep chases away the beast –

for now.


 

There are moments when I know that the thoughts I’m thinking are illogical and irrational, but I have difficulty battling them and it frustrates me greatly. Today was one of those days.

These moments happen more frequently when I’m tired or not feeling well physically. I’ve been tired a lot recently.

I find it hard to remind and convince myself that my perceptions of other’s words and actions are not always rational and or logical – to remind myself that my mental health issues sometimes color those interactions.

 

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